


Life With Marilyn

by MackenzieW



Category: Smash (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-07 16:25:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MackenzieW/pseuds/MackenzieW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ivy and Derek welcome their baby girl, Marilyn Leigh, into the world but it doesn't mean an automatic happy ever after. Their relationship right now is strictly one of co-parents due to Derek's movie obligations and Ivy is essentially a single mother. While Derek is doing his best to be a good father, Ivy gets help from those she relies on most: Tom, Julia and Sam. But Tom and Sam still have a thorny relationship after their break up and Julia is working on repairing hers with Michael Swift. On top of this, Ivy also has to deal with her mother, Leigh Conroy. It seems Marilyn and Eileen may be the only sane ones in her world--because Ivy's not too sure about hers!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And I have another Smash fanfic! I haven't abandoned my other one due to this. I have put that one on the backburner to work on something else--for now. 
> 
> This story came from a random idea I had--a Smash spinoff series about Ivy raising her baby with Sam, Tom, and Julia. Derek, Leigh and Eileen would've made several appearances throughout the series. And it would've been a comedy, so this fic has that comedic feel. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Smash. I am merely playing with them now that the curtain has fallen.

### Chapter One: An Eventful Thanksgiving

A long table sat through Tom Levitt’s living room, covered in an ivory table cloth decorated with orange and gold leaves along the border. Silver rimmed china plates were set out along with silverware and glassware. Crème colored napkins rested atop the plates.

The centerpiece was a large cornucopia, fruits and vegetables spilling out from it: apples, oranges, grapes, potatoes, yams, cranberries all sat around a giant pumpkin. Ivy Lynn leaned closer to examine them. She turned her head to address Tom, standing behind her. “Are these real?”

He tilted his head, smiling. “I’m tempted to lie but no, they are plastic.”

“Well, they look really good. You really went all out.”

“Of course I did! We have so much to be grateful for this year! Bombshell opened, you won a Tony, Julia and I won a Tony, Bombshell won the Tony…and you’re having a baby!”

Ivy stood up so Tom could lay a hand on her protruding stomach. He moved it around, frowning, and she shook her head. “I think the baby’s asleep right now. She keeps odd hours.”

“A Broadway baby?” Tom smiled as Ivy laughed. He threw an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, why don’t you sit down?”

“But I feel fine. No need to fuss over me.”

“Oh, no, you want to be fussed over. Trust me.” Julia Huston walked from the kitchen, holding a glass of wine in her hand. “Once the baby comes, all attention will be on her. Relish it now.”

Tom shook his head as he spoke in a mock serious voice. “Not being the center of attention? How does a leading lady handle it?”

“I’d ask my mother but I don’t think she did. So I’ll do it on my own!” Ivy sighed.

Frowning, Tom nudged her. “Not completely on your own. You’ve got me and Julia.”

“And Sam as well as Derek,” Julia added.

“Derek? From out in California?” Tom scoffed.

It was Ivy’s turn to frown. “I thought you two were getting along again. What happened?”

Tom shrugged. “We are getting along. But that doesn’t mean I have to approve of his decision to film a movie across the country when you are here pregnant with his child.”

“He’s not filming the movie in California and you know that. You’re working on the movie too, right?” Tom looked away but Ivy pressed on. “Besides, he was only out there for a few months for some pre-production things. And he is always here for the important things. Appointments, sonograms, Lamaze classes—he even went shopping with me! I think that shows some commitment.”

“But what about commitment to you?” Tom pressed, ignoring a pointed look from Julia.

Ivy didn’t mind. She knew these questions were bound to come up. After all, Derek had made a rather public declaration of love to her—at the Tony Awards no less. She was impressed Tom hadn’t tried to get more information about the state of her relationship before now. “Relationships take work, Tom, and that’s what we’re doing. We’re taking it slow because of his film and the baby. And I’m fine with that. Got it?”

Tom nodded, moving away as he muttered about checking on something in the kitchen. Julia and Ivy watched him leave before chuckling as they shook their heads. The older woman turned to Ivy. “So how are you feeling?” she asked.

Ivy grunted. “Like a beached whale. I want the kid out. Now.”

“Oh, I remember that feeling. Don’t worry, you’ll forget about this in time.”

“In time for what?”

“To have another child.” Julia smiled at Ivy’s horrified face, patting her arm. “You may feel that way now, but talk to me in a year. We’ll see what tune you are singing then.”

Ivy scoffed. “I highly doubt it.”

She then groaned, rubbing her extended stomach. “I think I need to sit down.”

“Here, I’ll help you.” Julia took Ivy’s arm, helping her toward the couch. She held onto Ivy’s arm until the woman had lowered herself onto the couch.

Ivy sagged down with a sigh of relief. “That feels much better. I should really take my doctor’s advice and just act like a queen.”

“You are a queen.” Sam entered the living room, smiling. He leaned down to hug his friend. “Don’t you ever forget it.”

“I can’t. You won’t let me.” She laughed as she squeezed Sam. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Where else would I be? It’s Thanksgiving!”

“And don’t you want to be with your family?” Ivy asked.

Sam shrugged. “I’ll be with them another holiday. They know it’s too much to travel to Boston for only a few hours.”

He clapped his hands. “And Derek is on his way! He was getting in a cab right behind me.”

“Why didn’t you share a cab?” Ivy asked.

“Because Karen was still pleading her case for him to come to her place to celebrate at their orphan’s Thanksgiving. He was pretty adamant about saying no.”

A surge of joy flooded through Ivy. Derek had chosen her over Karen. It didn’t matter how many times he had done it so far, she still needed that reassurance. She didn’t like it and chose to blame it on her swinging hormones rather than call it for what it was: insecurity.

Instead she decided to let annoyance take her over. “Karen can’t get over the fact she’s not the number one woman in his life. Even though she has Jimmy. They are still together, right?”

Sam nodded. “Got back together the moment Jimmy was released from prison.”

“And he doesn’t care Karen’s still trying to get in Derek’s pants?”

“Dunno. Not sure he notices.” Sam shook his head. “Let’s not focus on Karen and Jimmy’s relationship. It’s Thanksgiving! Let’s enjoy each other’s company and the meal Tom paid someone to prepare for us.”

“I didn’t see you volunteering to cook,” Tom shot back. He glared at his ex-boyfriend. Sam returned it.

Ivy shifted on the couch, searching for a comfortable position. It was a difficult task these days with her baby girl so big. And sitting on her spleen, she swore. She did not need this passive-aggressive act. “Enough! Can you two pretend to get along for today? For me?”

Shame crossed both men’s faces and they hung their heads. “Sorry,” both mumbled.

“Good. Now, let’s be pleasant and when my mom gets here, we can watch Bombshell’s Thanksgiving Day Parade performance as well as Hit List’s.” She glanced up at Sam and winked.

Tom smiled. “I think it came off really well.”

“After he stressed about it for weeks. It was worse than the Tonys.” Julia rolled her eyes as she returned to the living room. “Song choices, who to feature, yada yada ya! I wanted to kill him.”

“So, what did you end up choosing?” Ivy asked.

Tom shook his head. “You’ll have to wait to see,” he teased.

Ivy groaned. “Then my mother better hurry up and get here. I don’t think I can wait much longer!”

“So impatient! I’m going to blame that on hormones and let it slide, for now.” Leigh Conroy blew into the apartment, handing Julia a bag. “Wine for dinner. Never come empty handed.”

She shrugged off her black wraparound coat, handing it to Tom. “Thank you, dear,” she purred.

Ivy rolled her eyes. _Typical Leigh Conroy._ “Hello, Mother.”

“Ivy, darling. You look beautiful. I daresay you are glowing.” Leigh let out a sigh as she glanced over Ivy’s outfit. “Though I wish you would change your wardrobe. Look at all those other pregnant stars and how gorgeous their outfits are. Why must you dress in such shapeless clothes?”

Julia stepped in as Ivy felt her face grow hotter. “Her outfit is lovely, Leigh. Certainly better than the outfits I had to wear when pregnant with Leo. Those were ghastly.”

Leigh opened her mouth, no doubt to insult Ivy’s choices again, but Julia was faster. She stepped forward and took Leigh’s arm. “Come, let’s go open up that bottle of wine. I think it is a good time.”

The two walked from the room but Ivy did not relax. She walked over to a mirror to examine her outfit once again. The brown cashmere sweater kept her warm and went well with the black dress she wore underneath. It covered, but did not hide, her growing baby bump which was starting to hang lower as the days progressed. She thought she looked beautiful.

Sam appeared in the mirror. “Don’t listen to her. You look fabulous. Trust me, I’m a gay guy.”

“Not that type of gay guy. You hate the stereotype.” She turned around to hug him. “But thanks anyway. I needed to hear that.”

“You’re welcome. Confidence boosts are my specialty.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d be jealous.” A British-accented voice interrupted their moment.

Ivy smiled, turning to face Derek Wills. He still wore his black leather jacket and smelled like the cold winter air. She didn’t care as she hugged him. It was refreshing. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Where else would I be? Don’t you Americans prattle on about family at this time of the year?” Derek’s smile made her melt a little inside.

Tom walked into the room, carrying a glass of what she believed was ginger ale. And she believed it was for her as no doubt the others would be drinking the wine her mother brought. She took it from him. “Thank you so much.”

Derek glanced over at Tom. “I’m glad Ivy has someone looking out for her when I can’t.”

Tom stared at Derek. “And how much longer will that be?”

“Not much. I have to go back to LA next week but then I should be back until after the New Year. So you’re stuck with me for the holidays, Tom!” Derek smiled, hugging Ivy close to him.

After rolling his eyes, Tom did smile. “Now, come sit! It’s time to watch the performances from the parade!”

Laughing, everyone settled down while Tom cued up Bombshell’s performance. He turned to face his guests, TV still paused. “Ladies and gentlemen…and Derek, I present Bombshell’s parade performance—The Twentieth Century Fox Mambo!”

“Good choice!” Ivy said, clapping.

Derek grunted beside her. “Why didn’t you go with Let’s Be Bad? It was a big hit at the Tony’s.”

“Yeah, but Ivy performed it so well. It didn’t seem fair to Emily to have her perform it and be compared to Ivy,” Tom explained. “And this is a fun number as well.”

“Alright, alright. Enough with the director’s commentary. Hit play!” Derek waved Tom on like a king commanding a servant to do a task.

With another eye roll, Tom hit play and sat down next to Julia. A newscaster who was far perkier than anyone had the right to be at such an early hour of the morning filled the screen to introduce the performance.

_“Legendary actress Marilyn Monroe continues to fascinate us fifty years after her untimely death. Now her life plays out at the Lilly Hayes Theater in the new musical Bombshell. This high energy show features music from the award-winning team of Tom Levitt and Julia Huston and won the Tony for Best Musical. Here, star Emily Jameson portrays Marilyn as she gets ready to break into the world of Hollywood and lets herself be transformed into an irresistible star in ‘The Twentieth Century Fox Mambo’!”_

The crowd applauded as the camera focused in on the cast of Bombshell. Ivy stared at her replacement, wearing the blonde Marilyn wig and her costume, smiling for the entire country. Emily began the number and Ivy felt the pull to be on stage, to be the one performing.

A strong kicked to her abdomen reminded her why it wasn’t her on the screen. She rubbed her stomach. _It’s worth it. And you’ll be center stage again before you know it._

The number ended and as the cast waved to the cameras, Tom paused the recording. “Well? What do you think?”

“It was amazing, Tom,” Julia said.

Ivy nodded. “You did a great job.”

As Tom beamed, Derek leaned down to whisper in Ivy’s ear. “It was the same choreography as on stage. What was he so worried about?”

She elbowed him. “Why don’t we watch Hit List’s performance, Tom?”

“Yes!” Julia clapped. “Put it on, Tom.”

He shook his head. “Fine! Just hang on and I’ll find the performance.”

Once he found the spot with the performance, he paused the video again and faced his guests. “Derek? Would you like to say anything?”

Derek shrugged. “Jimmy and I talked for a bit and blindsided Jerry by deciding to go with Rewrite This Story.”

“What did Jerry want?” Tom asked.

“To showcase our Tony winner Daisy in ‘I’m Not Sorry.’ But I felt ‘Rewrite This Story’ was a better option as did Jimmy.”

“Well, let’s see.” Tom hit play, letting the perky announcer once again introduce the number.

_“Welcome back! Hit List was the smash hit of the last Broadway season, its rock and roll score enticing a younger generation back to the theater. Created by the team of Jimmy Collins and Kyle Bishop, Hit List tells a story of fame, addiction and love. Here Collins joins Tony nominee Karen Cartwright to sing ‘Rewrite This Story.’”_

The camera zoomed past the woman to focus on Jimmy. It was the first time Ivy had seen him since the Tony Awards. His time in jail did not seem to affect him physically—he looked the same to her. After awhile, the focus switched to Karen as she began her part of the song.

Ivy stared at her. She couldn’t help it; Karen looked so pretty and thin. And she was still performing. _Soon, Ivy, soon._ She repeated the mantra over and over until the song ended.

Tom paused the video again and looked at Derek. “Want to say anything now?”

“Did everyone like it?” After everyone agreed they had, Derek shrugged. “All I need to know. Let’s eat.”

“Here, here!” Sam raised his wine glass as Ivy laughed. “I’m starving.”

“Well, that’s settled then. Time to eat!” Tom turned off the TV, switching to some festive music instead. Everyone stood and moved to the dining room.

“The food looks delicious, Tom.” Ivy glanced at the golden brown turkey and her stomach rumbled. Or perhaps it was the baby’s. She couldn’t tell anymore these days.

“Well, I would send my compliments to the chef but he’s not here.” Sam’s voice was hard and Ivy wished she was sitting closer to him so she could kick him. Yes, his breakup with Tom wasn’t the easiest but there was no need for him to keep getting digs in about the fact the food was prepared by someone else. Many people chose to pay to have their Thanksgiving dinner cooked for them. Would he give them the same amount of scorn?

Julia saved the party from the awkward silence which ensued. “You know, at our house, we usually went around the table and said something we were grateful for. Why don’t we do that now?”

Everyone agreed and Julia went first. “I’m grateful for everyone here. You helped me through one of the toughest years of my life and I’ll never forget that.”

“Oh no, she’s going to make me cry!” Tom dabbed his eyes with his napkin, drawing laughs from his guests. Julia threw hers at him.

Sam cleared his throat. “I guess I’ll go next. I’m grateful for such a good role in a hit Broadway musical! It allows me to do what I’ve always wanted to do.”

“Well, you’re welcome,” Derek said. Everyone rolled their eyes but he ignored them. “I think I’ll go next. I’m grateful for Ivy Lynn. Thank you for being in my life.”

He leaned down to kiss her cheek and Ivy thought her smile was now frozen onto her face. She didn’t think anything could remove it as she took her turn. “I feel like I’ve had an embarrassment of riches this year. Getting to play Marilyn. Getting two Tony nominations and then winning one. And then I got Derek and our daughter. So much to be thankful for.”

“Well, that’s going to be difficult to follow up,” Tom said. He turned to Leigh, who sat between him and Ivy. “Do your best.”

Leigh laughed. “I will admit I won’t have as much as my daughter. But I am thankful for the chance to perform with her on the Broadway stage. And for my granddaughter, perhaps the next generation?”

“I guess I shouldn’t have doubted her.” Tom raised his wine glass. “If you’ll indulge me, I’d like mine to also be a toast.”

“Are you determined to prevent us from eating?” Derek groaned but raised his glass. Ivy raised her glass of ginger ale, refilled by Sam before he took his seat.

Tom cleared his throat. “A toast to our family! We may not all be connected by blood, but we are there for each other as if we were. This year we’ve had our fights…” He glanced at Julia who nodded back.

“We’ve had our ups…” He raised his glass high before lowering it again. “And we’ve had our downs. But here we are together. That is what I’m thankful for this year. All of you.”

Ivy took her napkin and dabbed her eyes. “That was beautiful, Tom.”

“I think it’s the hormones,” Derek replied in a deadpan. Ivy elbowed him and he held up his hands. “I kid, I kid. Cheers, everyone!”

Everyone clinked their glasses together before taking sips of their respective drinks. Tom held up the knife. “So I’m not even going to pretend I can do this. Who wants to carve the turkey?”

Derek put down his glass. “I guess I will, if no one else wants to.”

And so he carved the turkey. Ivy leaned back, watching him with a smile. This man loved her. He told the entire Tony telecast audience. Everything was perfect, she believed. And it was destined to get better. She could feel it.

The meal was delicious. Or perhaps it only seemed that way because it was the first thing Ivy was able to keep down in two weeks. She had been startled to find out that morning sickness could come back at the end of the pregnancy. It hadn’t been pleasant. But it appeared over and she was happy for that.

Conversation flowed freely around her and she was content just to listen rather than participate. Derek and Sam talked about some sport while Tom and her mother talked about a mutual friend in the theater. Well, more like gossiped. Ivy smiled hearing it; it was very much like both of them.

She noticed Julia stayed quiet as well. After dinner, Ivy sat next to her. “Something wrong?”

“Just missing Leo.” Julia paused and then added quietly: “And Michael.”

Ivy took Julia’s hand. “How are things going with him?”

“I don’t know. We’re taking it so slow, I think we’re going backwards.” Julia sighed. “I understand why. Our relationship is pretty screwed up when you think about it.”

“A year ago, I would’ve said the same about Derek’s and my relationship.” Ivy paused. “Actually, I would’ve said we had no relationship.”

She glanced over at Derek, who was still talking animatedly with Sam. His arms gestured in various directions and he had a determined look in his eyes. Whatever they were talking about was something serious.

Ivy looked back at Julia. “If you had told me then that I would be back together with Derek and carrying his child, I’d have told you you were insane.”

“You would’ve said the same if I also told you that you had won a Tony,” Julia added with a smile.

“True.” Ivy laughed. “See? Who knows where your life will be next year? I’m sure it’ll be better.”

Julia hugged her. “Thanks. I needed to hear that.”

“Glad to help.” Ivy tried to stand but found it difficult to keep her balance. She held out a hand to Julia. “Care to return the favor?”

“Of course.” Julia stood, taking Ivy’s hand. She helped lift her and as Ivy stood, something felt wrong. Pain ripped through her abdomen and Ivy cried out, falling back onto the couch. It was difficult to catch her breath and her Lamaze training flew from her mind.

Everyone crowded around her. “Should we call nine-one-one?” Tom asked, voice panicky.

“Breathe, Ivy, breathe. Remember all those vocal exercises!” Her mother was trying to be helpful but failing.

Derek held Ivy’s hand. “Are you in labor? Can you tell?”

“It’s not like I’ve done this before.” Ivy managed to wheeze out the statement as the pain died down somewhat. Her breathing was still labored though.

Julia took control of the situation. “Okay, Derek, go get your car.”

“I’m not leaving her. Besides, I took a taxi here.”

“Okay, then. Tom, go get your car.” Julia shoved him toward the door. “Derek and Sam, help Ivy stand. Leigh, can you go get Ivy’s bag from her apartment?”

“I am not leaving her side!”

Julia sighed. “Alright, but someone has to go get her things.”

“I’ll go,” Sam offered. “I know her apartment well. And I don’t need to go to the hospital right away. You guys go. I’ll meet you there.”

“The bag’s by her front door. Don’t think you’ll need anything else,” Derek said.

“Thanks, Derek. And you’ll be a champ, Ivy.” Sam kissed her forehead before leaving the apartment.

Ivy took a deep breath as another flash of pain died down. “We don’t know I’m in labor. Sam could be running around for nothing.”

“Ivy, I’m pretty sure you’re in labor,” Derek said.

“Why?”

Julia’s voice was close to her ear. “Ivy, your water broke. You are in labor.”

Before this information could sink in, another ripple of pain flashed through her and she doubled over. It looked like she was going to have more to be grateful for this Thanksgiving then she thought.


	2. Chapter Two: Welcome, Marilyn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I do not own the characters of Smash or Playbill Online.

### Chapter Two: Welcome, Marilyn

_Playbill Online_

Representatives for Tony Award-winning director/choreographer Derek Wills and Tony Award-winning actress Ivy Lynn have announced that the couple welcomed their first child yesterday, November 28th. The two are now the happy parents to a healthy baby girl whom they named Marilyn Leigh. 

“Mother and daughter are doing well and resting. The family asks that you respect their privacy as they welcome their new addition into their lives,” the statement released said. “We thank everyone for their warm wishes.” 

Given Marilyn Leigh Wills’ parentage—including Tony Award-winning grandmother Leigh Conroy—it is only time before this little girl is on stage, entertaining people like her parents. 

*****

“She’s beautiful, Ivy.” Julia hovered over the tiny pink bundle resting in an incubator next to Ivy’s hospital bed.

Ivy smiled, staring down at her beautiful and perfect daughter. Ten fingers. Ten toes. Beautiful blue eyes which she knew would darken to brown but for now, she enjoyed their color. And she knew the baby’s blonde hair would stay. Baby Marilyn was going to be a beautiful little girl.

“Thank you, Julia. I can’t believe I gave birth to her. And I was there.” Ivy laughed. “You know what gets me though? I did all the work and these two are the ones napping!”

She motioned between her daughter and Derek, who dozed in a chair against the wall. His mouth hung open and some drool hung from his mouth. It was quite a sight.

Julia reached for her camera. “This is too precious to pass up. I have to.”

Ivy nodded, trying not to laugh. She didn’t want to wake Derek up before Julia could get her picture. Julia crept up on the director, camera at the ready to snap the perfect picture. The flash went off and Derek snorted in response, rolling his head away from the light. She and Julia chuckled as Tom entered the room, holding a vase of flowers. He glanced between Derek and Julia and smiled. “I want a copy.”

“Of course,” Julia replied. “More flowers?”

“Yeah. These were waiting at the front desk. I said I’d bring them up for Ivy.” He placed them next to another large arrangement. Ivy doubted there were any pink roses left in the city.

She tried to reach for the card but couldn’t find it right away. “Who is it from? Do you know, Tom?”

“I think it’s from Ronnie Moore.” Tom also foraged for the card. “I’m sure the note is around here from somewhere.”

“Well, I’m impressed Ronnie sent flowers. She didn’t have to.”

“You two are friends. And she is my friend as well. Of course she’d send flowers!” Derek’s accent was thicker from the sleep still in his voice. He shifted position in the chair, rubbing his neck. “Think the nurse will bring me something for the cramp?”

“Tough it out. Save the pain medication for people who actually need it. Like women who just gave birth?” Tom motioned to Ivy.

She sighed. “Leave him alone, Tom. If he has a cramp, he has a cramp. Don’t qualify his pain with mine.”

“Thank you, love. Glad to know you’ll still stick up for me.” Derek smiled at her. “How’s my other girl doing?”

Ivy glanced over at the incubator sitting next to her. Baby Marilyn yawned though she didn’t open her eyes or wake up. She had gotten one of her little hands free of the swaddling the nurse had wrapped her in and it now rested by her face, balled up. It was adorable.

Without taking her eyes off Marilyn, Ivy motioned to Julia. “Bring the camera! Quick! You have to get a picture of this!”

“Are you going to get a picture of everything she does?” Derek rolled his eyes. “We will run out of memory with all these…well, memories!”

“Oh, don’t worry, Derek. I’m sure you’ll be able to still make those movies for whatever show you’re working on next,” Tom said.

Derek crossed his arms. “I’m working on a movie. Or did you forget?”

“This is what they call friendly?” Ivy asked Julia. She only shrugged in response.

“For us, I do believe this is friendly.” Tom glanced at Derek from the corner of his eye.

A whimper rose up from the incubator. Everyone’s attention turned to the squirming infant as her little fist waved in displeasure. Ivy reached out to pick Marilyn up, but winced and had to lean back. So Julia scooped up the baby, bouncing her as she walked over to Ivy’s side. “I think someone’s hungry.”

Panic crossed Ivy’s face. “I don’t know if I can breastfeed. What if I do it wrong?”

“Which is why I’m here to help.” A nurse appeared in the doorway. “Everyone else out.”

Derek stood. “I’m the father. I think I’m allowed to stay.”

“Well, let’s ask the mother. It’ll be her call.” The nurse glanced down at Ivy, who still had a deer in headlights look to her.

Ivy turned the look to Julia. “You’ll stay with me, right? Please?”

“Yes, I will.” Julia looked up at the nurse. “If that’s all right?”

The nurse nodded. “I’m here to help the mother. And she wants you. Sorry, Dad.” She looked over at Derek, motioning to the door.

Dejected, Derek followed Tom out of the room. He glanced at Ivy one last time before disappearing down the hall.

*****

Leigh came to visit her later that day, carrying a teddy bear with a pink bow along with a bag which read “It’s a girl!” She put the bag down next to her daughter, glancing around the room. “You’ve gotten a lot of flowers. I think this is more than when you won the Tony.”

“Everyone’s been great, Mom. I didn’t expect to get so many flowers.” Ivy laughed. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do with them. I can’t take them all home.”

“No, your place will barely fit the baby let alone all these flowers. I wish you would take my offer to move into the apartment I have in the city. It’s much bigger than yours. You and the baby will be happier there.”

Ivy sighed. “Marilyn and I will be fine in my place, at least until I save up to get a bigger place.”

“Which isn’t necessary if you take up my offer.” Leigh sighed. “Why did you have to inherit my stubbornness? I hope my granddaughter doesn’t.”

She leaned over the incubator, staring down at the sleeping infant. Once again, Marilyn had wiggled her hand free of her swaddling and had the hand resting against her cheek. Leigh ran a finger over the tiny hand. “I certainly know she’s going to be as beautiful as us.”

“Yeah, she is.” Ivy’s smile turned into a frown. “Is Dad going to come?”

“Oh, Ivy. Jimmy’s not doing well with the gas station and your father is needed there. But I sent him pictures and he’s over the moon about his granddaughter. He’ll be down as soon as he can get away. Your brother too.”

Ivy wasn’t too sure. Her brother had made many promises to come to visit her in New York and never followed through. She doubted it would change now that he had a niece. But she didn’t say anything. It wouldn’t help to argue with her mother. “Well, I’m glad you’re here then, Mom.”

Leigh met her gaze and smiled. Tears pricked her eyes. “Oh, sweetie. Where else would I be?”

And then she wrapped her arms around Ivy. “I love you, baby. And I love little Marilyn too.”

“Thanks, Mom. Can you let go please? My chest is kinda sore.” Ivy winced.

“Oh, right. I forgot.” Leigh released her daughter. She glanced down at Ivy’s chest. “The baby has done wonders for you, though. You should remember this size and when you’re done nursing, do everything you can to keep it.”

Ivy rolled her eyes. Some things never changed.

*****

Ivy and Marilyn were released the next morning. Once again, her small party escorted her out. Derek pushed the wheelchair, a requirement by the hospital, as Tom waited with the car. Julia, Sam and Leigh all carried various gifts from the room to load into the trunk. Ivy felt like she had been there forever. She was ready to go home.

Derek, though, had other ideas. “I wish you would come home with me. We could learn to be parents together.”

“I know you mean well, but I want Marilyn to get used to my apartment. It’s going to be her home as well.” Ivy looked down at her sleeping infant daughter. The nurses had given up on wrapping up Marilyn’s hands as she kept working them free and the baby girl seemed happier.

He sighed. “I’m going to lose this argument, aren’t I?”

“Oh, good, you’re learning. There’s hope for you yet.” Ivy smiled at him. He rolled his eyes in response.

Beside them, Julia chuckled. “I’ll go check the car seat. Make sure everything is safe for this little bundle of joy.”

“Thank you, Julia.” Ivy glanced up at the woman in gratitude. “I appreciate it.”

Julia nodded and hurried away, leaving Ivy and Derek alone. They waited in silence, unsure what to say next. Derek crouched down to look at his daughter. “You are beautiful, like your mother. And already stubborn. I am not sure which of us you got that from, though. If it’s me, I’m sorry. But I love you. And I always will, even when we’re screaming at each other and you slam your door like the rebellious teenager I have a feeling you will grow up to be. Remember that.”

He kissed the baby’s forehead as Ivy looked away to wipe the tears from her eyes. _Damn hormones._

“We’re ready when you are.” Julia’s voice interrupted their moment. She stood in front of the car, door open.

Derek reached out for Marilyn. “May I?”

“Be careful.” Ivy placed their daughter in his arms. “Mind her head!”

“I know! I’ve held a baby before, Ivy.” Derek rolled his eyes as he cradled their daughter. He walked as slow as possible to the car.

Leigh approached the wheelchair. “Do you need help, Ivy?”

Ivy shook her head. “I think I can manage. Or at least, let me try first.” She gripped the armrests and pushed herself into a standing position. Her legs were wobbly but they held her weight. Ivy took a tentative step forward and then another one. Though she was slow, she made it to the car on her own with Leigh following her every step.

Once everyone was in the car, Tom drove out into Manhattan traffic. Ivy sat next to Marilyn’s car seat, hand on the baby girl. Marilyn, for her part, slept on. Julia glanced back at mother and daughter from the front seat before turning to Tom. “Be careful driving.”

“I know.” Tom gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. “Precious cargo and all that. I don’t want Ivy and Derek teaming up to kill me. They would be scary together.”

Derek and Ivy met eyes and he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She smiled before turning her attention back to her still sleeping daughter. How she envied her! Childbirth took a lot out of a woman and Ivy was still trying to get her strength back. All she wanted to do was climb into bed and sleep until the New Year.

“If you want to close your eyes, I’ll watch Marilyn.” Derek kept his voice low for only her to hear. “You deserve a good nap.”

Ivy’s eyes fluttered closed before she could respond. The hum of the engine and the motion of the car helped. Sleep felt great.

She felt like only a few seconds had passed when someone shook her shoulder. Opening an eye, she saw Derek hovering over her. “Sorry, love, but we’re at your place. You need to get up now.”

Groaning, she stretched. Midway, though, the empty car seat holder caught her eye. Panic rose up through her. “Where’s Marilyn?”

“Your mother carried her upstairs. She’s still sound asleep. And you can be too once we get you upstairs. Promise.” Derek smiled.

Ivy nodded and grabbed his hand. “Thank you. I wish you could carry me.”

“I know. But this way is safer. Marilyn doesn’t need both her parents injured before she’s a week old.”

“I guess. Well, let’s go before they think we’ve run off. I think Julia might take Marilyn home if she thought that.” Ivy leaned on Derek’s arm as they navigated the icy steps of her apartment building. Everything about how he held her made her tingle, from the hand on her back to the one holding her hand. She wished she could capture the feeling in a bottle and keep it on a shelf for when she felt bad. Well, in real life rather than in her mind. As she thought of it, her imaginary shelf appeared in her mind. Several bottles lined it, each labeled with the event that caused the happiness bottled inside. Getting to play Marilyn. Getting a Tony nomination—both times! Derek confessing his love for her. Winning the Tony. Holding Marilyn for the first time. And now this. Oh, yes, she was ready for any downswing in her mood.

But as she and Derek crossed the threshold and he didn’t let go of her, she didn’t think she’d have need for them for a long time.


	3. Firsts

### Chapter Three: Firsts 

Ivy and Marilyn’s first night home was a bit rocky. Around three in the morning, she regretted not taking anyone up on their offer to stay the night as she crossed her small apartment. She had been criss-crossing it for a half hour but Marilyn did not stop crying. Even after Ivy bounced her around, checked her diaper and tried to feed her. Nothing worked.

“Please, baby girl. Mommy wants to get some sleep.” Ivy was pleading with a crying infant. How had she sunk so low? “Go to sleep, Marilyn. For Mommy. Please?”

Marilyn wailed louder. If Ivy didn’t know better, she would’ve sworn it was just to spite her. But the baby was too young to do that. She just needed to figure out what Marilyn wanted or needed. Oh, she couldn’t wait until the girl learned how to talk!

Ivy’s legs felt like they were going to give out. Dancing eight shows a week didn’t hold a candle to late night walks with a crying, squirming baby. She sank down into the rocking chair Eileen gave her and closed her eyes. There had to be something which would calm the baby.

Out of options, she began to sing. “Castle on a Cloud” popped into her head first, a soft song which could double as a lullaby. As she sang, Marilyn’s sobs quieted down to whimpers. When she reached the end of the song, she switched to “Goodnight, My Someone” so as not to break the spell.

The whimpering stopped as Marilyn’s breathing grew deep and even.

For the next hour, Ivy put on a one-woman revue for her daughter. And it was the first time she was glad she put her audience to sleep. She laid Marilyn in her bassinet and fell into her own bed. The darkness of sleep overtook her within seconds.

Crying. That was now the soundtrack of her life, Ivy was certain. Perpetual crying.

With a groan, she sat up. Marilyn’s little arms waved over the top of her white bassinet. Ivy scooped up her fussy daughter. “You hungry? Yes, you’re hungry.”

Nursing was still a bit awkward for her but she managed by herself. Ivy leaned back against the pillows and sighed. Day two at home wasn’t off to a great start. Not that it probably could’ve had gone any better any place outside her imagination. All her dreams were just that: dreams.

_Perhaps I should’ve taken up Derek’s offer after all._

Marilyn fell back asleep after her feeding. Ivy used the time to hop into the shower. She took what had to be the quickest one in her life, not wanting to leave Marilyn alone for a minute. Wrapping a towel around her, she peeked out of the bathroom. Marilyn was still asleep. Good. She could get something to eat without worrying too much.

Settling in at her kitchen table with some cereal—everything else seemed too much for her right now—she was eager to dive in with her spoon when she was interrupted. Not by crying, this time though. This time, it was the ringing of her phone. Ivy glared at it. She was not going to pick it up. Whoever it was could just leave her a message. This was her alone time and she was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

“Ivy? It’s Derek. Pick up. Unless you’re holding Marilyn then I understand. When your hands are free, give me a call back.” He paused before continuing. “I love you.”

He hung up and Ivy felt a little guilt start to creep up. She had free hands, she could’ve picked up. Was it wrong for her to be selfish for just this little bit? To just want this one moment of peace and quiet? No, she decided. She wasn’t being selfish. And she returned to her cereal, guilt-free.

Cereal eaten and bowl washed, Ivy went back to check on Marilyn. The baby slept on, her little chest rising and falling with each breath. She sat on her bed and just watched Marilyn. It was becoming her favorite thing to do.

With Marilyn still asleep, she decided to return Derek’s call. One ring. Two rings. “Hello? Ivy, is that you?”

“Hi, Derek. Just returning your call.”

“How’s our little girl? Sleeping?”

Ivy glanced in the direction of her bedroom. “For now.”

“Good. How was your first night home?”

“Rougher than I thought. Good news is she likes showtunes. Tom will be thrilled.”

“Oh, I can just see his face now.” Derek chuckled, a low throaty sound that sent chills down Ivy’s spine. “So, I was wondering if it would be okay if I came over and spent some time with Marilyn. Unless you’re busy…”

“No, no. You are more than welcome to come. Drop by whenever. I’ll be here.”

“Okay. See you soon, then.” She hung up and sighed. Maybe she could get some sleep while Derek was here. There was some shopping to be done—how was it already December?—but she was too tired to do that just yet. Maybe some time next week…

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._ Ivy jerked her head toward the door. That was fast. Where had he been?

She opened the door to find Derek standing there, smiling. “Good morning, love. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“Did he just take all the credit? Really?” Ivy recognized Tom’s voice, which sounded like he was standing down the hallway a ways.

Derek rolled his eyes. “You were part of the surprise, moron. And now you’ve gone and ruined it.”

“Way to go, Tom.” Now she heard Sam’s voice, also distant.

Ivy shook her head, smiling. “You guys better come in, then.”

She stepped aside to give them room to enter but Derek took her hand and guided her to the couch. “You just sit down and let us do the work, Ivy.”

“Work? What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.” He winked and Ivy felt her nerves tense up. What were the men in her life planning?

She heard grunting and groaning from outside her door. Inching toward the edge of the couch, she craned her neck to try to see into the hallway. “What is going on out there? Do you need any help?”

“No. You stay where you are. We’re fine.” Tom’s grunts, though, suggested otherwise. Ivy bit her lip, waiting to see what would emerge through her door.

It was Sam’s backside. Not the surprise she was expecting. Then again, Ivy didn’t know what to expect as Sam kept pulling something through her doorframe. He paused, catching his breath. “How’s it going out there?” he asked.

“We just need to maneuver our end a bit more but don’t worry. You rest and I’ll get Tom to do what needs to be done…”

“What? Who died and put you in charge?”

“I won the Tony.”

“So what? That has little to do with the here and now.”

Sam glanced over his shoulder at Ivy, rolling his eyes. Ivy tried to muffle her chuckle with her hand until a loud bang echoed down the hallway. A few whimpers drifted from her bedroom and she darted across the apartment. She heard Sam chastise Derek and Tom: “The baby! You guys frightened Marilyn.”

Marilyn’s whimpers had evolved into sobs by the time Ivy reached the bassinette. She flung her little fists around as proof of her displeasure. Ivy scooped the girl up, muttering apologies. “Did Daddy and Uncle Tom wake you? Do you want to cry at them? Let’s go cry at them.”

She shifted the baby’s weight in her arms, hand coming to rest under Marilyn’s diaper. Ivy grimaced as she felt it. “After we change your diaper.”

When Marilyn had a fresh diaper and was changed into one of the many pink dresses Ivy had received while she was in the hospital, she carried the baby out into the living room. It had been quiet for far too long and she feared they had killed each other. But when she looked into the room, they were standing together with their arms crossed and admiring something she couldn’t see.

She rounded the corner and stopped. A tall, green tree stood in a corner of her apartment. “What’s that?”

“Your Christmas tree!” Tom stretched out his arms in a “ta da” motion. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know what to say. Why did you get me a Christmas tree? I have one.”

Sam shook his head. “You mean that Charlie Brown wannabe? Ivy, you need a better tree that that for Marilyn’s first Christmas.”

“Really? She’ll be a month old. I doubt she’ll remember it.” Ivy shifted Marilyn in her arms, bouncing the baby.

The men looked at each other and sighed. Sam stepped forward. “Ivy, come on. She’ll see the pictures. And what are you going to say when she asks why you had such a pathetic Christmas tree?”

“She won’t!” Ivy shook her head. “Besides, I don’t have enough ornaments for this. It’ll look more pathetic than my Charlie Brown wannabe.”

“We’ll get you ornaments! As many as you need!” Tom approached Ivy, smiling. “We just want Marilyn’s first Christmas to be amazing.”

Ivy gave in and smiled as well. “I know you do. And I appreciate it, I really do. You three are the best.”

“Ahem, I think you mean four.” Julia walked in, a big shopping bag swinging at her side. “Yes, I am in on this plan as well.”

She scooped up Marilyn, rocking the girl. “Oh, little girl, one day you’ll appreciate all the work we’ve done for you.”

“Hey! She’s my daughter. I should be the one holding her!” Derek reached out for his daughter.

Julia cuddled Marilyn closer. “No. You can wait your turn.”

“I’m her father!” Derek turned to Ivy. “Help?”

Ivy held up her hands as she laughed. “I’m staying out of this. I only hope you are all this eager when it’s time to change her diaper.”

Everyone shared in her laughter as Julia did hand the baby over to her father. He cradled her like she was a China doll and one wrong move could break her. “She’s so warm,” he said.

“Yes, she is,” Ivy agreed. “And wiggly.”

“Wiggly. Good word.”

Julia laughed. “I’ll have to work it into my next script. ‘Wiggly.’ Tom, take a note—we have to figure out a song about wiggly.”

Tom saluted as Derek rolled his eyes. “I think you’re carrying this joke on a bit too long.”

“I guess so.” Julia sighed. “So, I see you started decorating without me.”

“We got the tree and had to haul it up. Or did you want us all freezing out there to wait for you?” Tom asked.

Julia shook her head. “Of course not. So, Ivy, where do you keep the ornaments?”

“Closet in my room. I can go get if you want.”

“No, no.” Julia shook her head again. “You sit down. You just gave birth. We can do everything, no problem. Continue being that queen.”

Ivy chuckled and did as she was told. She had to admit it felt good to just relax. Thoughts of a nap popped up. “You know what? I’m going to lie down. If that’s okay with you guys. I don’t want to seem rude.”

They assured her it would not be rude and all but pushed her toward her bedroom. “Get some rest and when you wake up, it’ll be a Christmas wonderland,” Julia said.

Ivy’s eyebrows rose up. “Don’t go overboard. Please.” She turned to Derek, who was still bouncing their daughter. “Make sure they don’t turn this into the North Pole.”

“I’ll try. Now go. Get some rest.”

Ivy’s eyes closed the minute her head hit the pillow and she fell into a deep sleep. She didn’t even think she dreamed. All she knew was that it was later and she felt much better.

Until she realized how quiet it was. Confused, she stepped out of her room and walked to the living room.

The room did not look as bad as Ivy had feared. No winter wonderland. In fact, it looked more like something out of a catalogue or magazine. Ornaments hung on the tree with a golden angel resting on the very top. A few wrapped presents were already underneath. No doubt that was Julia’s doing. Glitter-filled paper snowflakes hung from the ceiling. That reeked of Tom. Lights were wrapped around her windows, twinkling in the dimly lit room. She wondered how long she had been asleep for if it was dark enough outside for the lights. Wouldn’t Marilyn need a feeding?

“You’ve only been down for an hour, love.” Derek’s voice was soft and came from behind her.

She turned to face him. He sat in the rocking chair from Eileen, cradling Marilyn in the crook of his arm. Once again, the baby was asleep. Her tiny hand had latched onto Derek’s shirt. It was a beautiful sight and she wished she had a camera.

“How did you know?” she asked. “Can you read minds now?”

Derek smiled. “No, I can just read you. It comes with experience.”

Ivy laughed and sat down on the couch. “So, how did it get so dark?”

“Got cloudy. We think it’s going to rain.” Derek glanced at the windows. “Hopefully they make it back before it does so.”

“Where did everyone go?”

“To get lunch. No one wanted to cook.”

Ivy’s stomach rumbled. “Good timing, I guess. Hope they’re getting something good.”

Derek shrugged. “I just want something now. I could eat anything.”

Marilyn began to whimper and squirm in her father’s arms. She flung her little arms about, hitting Derek’s chest. He grunted. “She packs a punch, doesn’t she?”

“She is strong. But I think that’s a good thing.”

“Wasn’t saying it’s not.” Derek’s smile didn’t diminish. Even as Marilyn began to wail. “What does she want?”

“I think she’s hungry.” Ivy crossed her arms over her chest to hide the wet spots forming on her shirt. She had heard about this happening—lactating at the sound of a baby crying—but she didn’t think it was true.

Derek held Marilyn out for her. “I think this is your department.”

“Thank you.” She took Marilyn and held her close. “I’m going to go to my bedroom, if you don’t mind.”

“No, I don’t. I need to stretch my legs anyway. Go ahead.” Derek stood as Ivy slipped into her bedroom with the baby.

Ivy heard the door open from her bedroom. Her returning guests were trying to be quiet, no doubt thinking she was still asleep. It was sweet, if unnecessary. She wanted to call out to them but Marilyn’s eyes were starting to droop now that she was fed and burped. Marilyn would be out again soon if she didn’t do anything to disturb her.

Julia though poked her head in to check on her. “You look like a natural.” She kept her voice low.

“Thanks. I don’t feel like a natural.” Ivy shifted her daughter in her arms. “I feel like I’m screwing up every minute.”

“I know. And I’m afraid that feeling never goes away.” Julia sat down next to her, patting her arm. “But you’ll get little reminders that everything else is worth it.”

Ivy sighed. She glanced down to see that Marilyn had fallen asleep. “Let me put her down and I’ll come out for lunch.”

“Okay. We’ll set a place for you.” Julia stood and started to leave the room. But she first paused at the door. “And Ivy? You are a great mother. And I’ll keep reminding you of that whenever you need it.”

“Thank you, Julia. I may need that. A lot.” Ivy smiled and Julia slipped out of the room.

Outside, Sam had set her small table with paper plates and plastic silverware. “Everything is so fancy,” Ivy said, teasing him.

“Yeah, well, the only thing we all agreed on was deli sandwiches and salads. I didn’t think you’d want to waste your good stuff on that.” Sam handed her a cup.

Ivy thanked him. “I’ll forgive you if you got macaroni salad.”

“I got you covered.” Sam winked. “Have a seat.”

Derek walked back into her kitchen. “I’ll have to take mine to go. Emergency meeting regarding the movie.”

Tom perked up, motioning between him and Julia. “Do we need to be there?”

“I don’t think so. At least not yet.”

“What’s wrong?” Julia asked.

Derek sighed. “Anna Kendrick just dropped out of the movie. We need a new leading lady—and fast if we don’t want to push our schedule back.”

“Oh, I liked Anna. She was perfect for the role!” Julia shook her head. “So you’re not recasting the role of Hermia yet, are you?”

Ivy perked up when she heard the name. The air of secrecy around this movie had annoyed her. No one would tell her what it was about and now, they had unknowingly given her a clue. She listened to see if they would reveal more as they had forgotten she and Sam were in the room.

“No, not yet. But you’ll find out soon,” Derek replied. He leaned down to kiss Ivy’s forehead. “I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“Promise?” Ivy asked.

Derek hesitated. “I don’t know. And I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep. But here’s one I can: I will call you as soon as I can.”

He leaned down, kissing her. She tried to make it last, as if it would keep Derek there forever.

But it didn’t work. He pulled away, shrugging on his leather jacket. Derek paused at the door, looking back at her. “See you soon, love.”

With that, he was gone.


	4. Without Derek

### Chapter Four: Without Derek

He didn’t call for two days. Not that Ivy was counting. She just checked the calendar every time Marilyn woke her up. Nothing compulsive at all.

Ivy sighed. Who was she trying to fool? Herself? What good did that do? It wasn’t a crime to miss him. Their relationship was a mess but she still cared for Derek. And she missed his help with Marilyn.

Not that she was overwhelmed. Well, not completely. She had help on a daily basis. Tom, Sam and Julia all stopped by. Ivy believed they had a schedule even though all three denied it. Even her mother had stopped by once, surprising Ivy. And Leigh had managed to be somewhat helpful. Ivy sometimes forgot her mother could be maternal.

Leigh bounced a fussy Marilyn for about an hour so Ivy could rest her arms. Ivy watched her mother, amazed as Leigh looked at her granddaughter with adoration. She felt like she was getting glimpses of how Leigh must’ve looked like when Ivy was a baby.

“You used to fuss like this when you were a baby. Singing used to calm you down.” Leigh glanced up at Ivy.

Ivy smiled. “It calms her down too.”

“Like mother, like daughter.”

“It must be the genes. Broadway runs deep.”

Leigh laughed. “It does.”

“And she has it on both sides, unlike me. I have half-Broadway, half-business.”

“Your father is a business genius. And you’ll be grateful when you aren’t being swindled by a business manager.” Leigh nodded, agreeing with herself.

Ivy chuckled. She motioned to her daughter. “What if she ends up being a business genius?”

“I’ll love her anyway.” Leigh looked at Marilyn, still bouncing her. “But I think I am holding a future Tony Award winner. I can tell.”

“You know what? So can I.” Ivy rubbed her daughter’s cheek. “Weird, huh?”

“No. It comes with the Tony. We’re just not allowed to tell anyone.” Leigh winked before handing Marilyn to Ivy. “I’m afraid I have to go. Time for my pre-show meal.”

“Grilled chicken over a salad?”

Leigh nodded. “Every time. It’s tradition. You know.”

“I know. And I guess grilled chicken over a salad is healthier than a big bowl of pasta.”

“But you need the carbs to be able to dance as well as you do.” Leigh kissed her surprised daughter’s cheek. “See you again soon. Promise.”

With another kiss, she left Ivy’s apartment. Ivy stood there, rocking Marilyn. She glanced down at her sleeping daughter. “I think someone switched bodies with your grandmother. Because that’s not the Leigh Conroy I’ve known.”

She laughed. “Maybe being a grandmother has changed her. You are an extraordinary kid already.”

Marilyn napped as Ivy collapsed on the couch. She flipped through the TV channels when a picture of Derek caught her eye. It was an entertainment news show, hosted by the same perky woman who introduced the musical acts at the Thanksgiving parade. Her smile was once again too wide and didn’t reach her eyes. “Big news out of Hollywood! Tony Award-winning Broadway director Derek Wells is making the leap to the big screen. He’s directing Patrick Dillon’s new film, a modern musical version of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream with new music by the award winning team of Julia Huston and Tom Levitt. Dillon is confirmed to also be playing the sprite Puck.

“Also in the cast is Aaron Tveit as Lysander, Amanda Seyfried as Helena, and Zac Efron as Demetrius. Anna Kendrick was cast as Hermia but had to back out due to scheduling conflicts. We have learned that newcomer Karen Cartwright, nominated for the hit musical Hit List, will play the role instead.”

Karen’s face filled her TV screen and Ivy sat up straighter. She was working on Derek’s film? They were going to be seeing each other day in and day out for weeks, maybe months. Close quarters, long hours…

Ivy turned the TV off, stewing. She knew shouldn’t let it hurt her. Derek had made his feelings clear, over and over. But so had Karen, even if she may not have realized it. Even if she had convinced herself it was just friendship. Or because she was his “muse.” No, Karen still had feelings for Derek. Everyone knew it. She bet even Jimmy knew it. Why he stayed with Karen then, she didn’t know.

But she shouldn’t meddle in their relationship. It would implode on its own, she knew. She just hoped it didn’t take hers with it. Not when she and Derek were on their way to figuring things out.

Picking up her phone, Ivy dialed a familiar number. One ring. Two rings. “Come on. Pick up, pick up!” Three rings.

“Hello? Ivy, is something wrong?” Tom’s panicked voice filled her ear.

“Karen is working on your film?”

“You know? How?”

“It’s on one of those entertainment news shows! The studio must’ve announced it.” Ivy began to pace her living room. “So it’s true?”

Tom sighed. “Yes, Karen is our new Hermia. And I guess I can confirm it’s a musical version of A Midsummer’s Night Dream.”

“You kinda did when Derek got called about Anna Kendrick dropping out. But let’s focus on the real issue here.”

“The fact Karen and Derek will be working together again?”

“Yes.” Ivy plopped down on the couch. “Am I being paranoid?”

Tom sighed again. “Maybe. Who am I to say?”

“You’re not helping.”

“Do you want me to come over?”

Ivy smiled. “To see me or Marilyn?”

“I didn’t know it was an ‘or’ situation. I thought I could see both of you at the same time?” Tom’s voice was teasing.

She laughed. “You win. Come on over.”

“Be right there.” Tom hung up.

*****

He wasn’t kidding. Not even a half hour later and he was standing at her door, with a paper bag in hand. Ivy pointed at that. “What’s in the bag?”

“Pastries.” Tom shook the bag. “Hungry?”

“Yes. Come in.” Ivy stood aside to let him pass. As he did, she took a deep breath to inhale the scent of the pastries. The smell of butter and sugar made Ivy feel like she gained more weight. “Though I hate you for bringing that. I’m trying to lose the baby weight, thank you very much.”

“You look fine. And don’t let your mother tell you otherwise.” Tom pointed a finger at her to punctuate his words.

Ivy rolled her eyes. “I won’t. And she’s been really nice lately. It’s weird, to be honest.”

“Sounds weird. Must be Marilyn.”

“Great minds think alike! I have the same theory.” Ivy leaned over a chair to look at the pastry choices Tom brought. “Those all look delicious. I don’t know if I’ll be able to choose.”

Tom laughed. “Just close your eyes and pick.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ivy closed her eyes and reached out. Her fingers closed on something oblong. When she looked, it was an éclair. “Yum!”

“Good choice.” Tom picked up a cream puff and moved toward her couch.

Ivy followed him and sat down, curling her feet under her. “So, Karen and Derek working together. Am I overreacting?”

Tom sighed. “Maybe.”

“That’s not very reassuring.” Ivy nibbled on her éclair. The chocolate was most welcome.

“I’m sorry. It’s hard to say, though. On one hand, I believe Derek is serious about a relationship with you. And trying to make some semblance of a family for Marilyn.”

“But on the other hand?”

“Karen is a serious temptation for Derek. Even if they think they’ve moved on. They just have this pull. And working so closely together…Well, it could be dangerous.”

Tom reached over and squeezed her hand. “But I think the person you need to speak to is Derek. Have you heard from him?”

Ivy shook her head. “Not for awhile. I keep telling myself that it’s because he’s busy. But a part of me wonders…”

“I’m sure he’s busy. And he’ll call as soon as possible.” Tom squeezed her hand again. “Do you want another pastry?”

“I shouldn’t…but I do,” Ivy sighed, leaning back against the couch cushions. She knew Derek would call. Just not when. But she prayed it was soon. There was a lot for them to discuss.

*****

In true Derek fashion, he called at the most inconvenient time for her. She had left Marilyn home with a very willing to babysit Julia to do some Christmas shopping. Julia and Tom had also offered to do it for her, but Ivy had wanted out of the house. Wanted to take her mind off Derek and the fact he hadn’t called yet, despite her many messages.

Her arms were full with bags when her phone blared with the overture from Gypsy. She maneuvered her way through the crowds to a place where she could throw down her bags and retrieve her phone. It was an accomplishment she found it before the call went to voicemail. “Hello?”

“Hello, luv. Miss me?” Derek’s smooth voice calmed her.

Ivy didn’t know whether to agree or to let him have it. She decided on the truth. “Yes. But if you called me more, I wouldn’t miss you as much.”

“True. I have been bad at calling you. I’m sorry, Ivy.”

She melted at his words. “I forgive you. For now.”

“Good. I hate it when we fight.” Derek chuckled. “So what’s wrong? You left like a million messages asking me to call you. Is something wrong with Marilyn?”

“No. Though you’d be worthless if there was.”

“So what’s wrong?”

“Karen is working on your film.”

There was silence for a few moments. “I wanted to tell you when I got home. How did you find out?”

“Every entertainment news outlet is reporting it, including Playbill. It’s not a secret, Derek.”

He sighed. “Of course not. The producers were eager to announce the cast. I should’ve called. I’m sorry.”

“When are you coming home? I think we need to talk.”

“I’ll be home day after tomorrow. We’ll talk then. Promise.”

It was Ivy’s turn to sigh. “Fine. I guess I can wait until then.”

“See you soon. And give my love to Marilyn.”

“I will.” She paused. “I love you, Derek.”

“Love you too, Ivy. See you soon.”

Call disconnected, she felt lonely again. She sat amongst her bags, not wanting to do anything. It was strange how one person held so much control over her feelings. And she wasn’t sure she liked it. Was this how her relationship with Derek was always going to go? Is it how she wanted it to go?

All questions that probably shouldn’t be answered at a mall, Ivy realized. She gathered her bags and decided to head for home. There was no rule saying she had to get her Christmas shopping done in one trip. She needed to go home.

*****

She swore Julia had moved into her apartment. Julia left at night before Ivy went to bed but was there making breakfast before she awoke the next morning. If Ivy didn’t walked her entire apartment three times each night singing to Marilyn, she would’ve sworn Julia snuck back in and spent the night. But it was comforting. A reminder she wasn’t alone.

“Good morning! I hope you’re in the mood for pancakes.” Julia flipped some onto a plate next to Ivy’s stove.

Ivy slid into a chair, yawning. “You and Tom are not helping me get back into pre-baby shape.”

“Don’t worry about that. Hollywood is ridiculous about that. Besides, you’ll lose the weight once you start dancing again.” Julia placed the plate before her. “Eat up.”

“Thanks. What about you?”

Julia waved the spatula toward the stove. “I’m making mine now. But don’t wait for me. Eat!”

Laughing, Ivy dug into her pancakes. “These are good. When did you become so good at pancakes?”

“Don’t laugh, but I’ve been taking cooking classes. Something to keep me busy now that Leo’s out of the house. And I don’t have Frank to cook anymore. I figured I couldn’t live on takeout forever, so might as well learn some recipes.” Julia slid into a seat next to Ivy with her own plate. “Glad it’s paying off.”

“Maybe I should take those classes. Marilyn’s not going to live on breast milk forever.” Ivy shook her head. “And we can’t live on takeout either.”

“Well, if you need a babysitter…”

“Julia.” Ivy put down her fork. “You don’t have to keep babysitting. You have your own life to live.”

Julia sighed, eyes focused on her food. “What life? My son is at college and prefers to spend time with his father anyway. The father who I am divorced from now, by the way. And the man I destroyed my marriage for wants nothing to do with me.”

“Ouch. But I thought you and Michael were trying to work it out?”

“We were. Or I thought we were.”

Ivy was confused. “What happened?”

“There was a chance he could reconcile with his wife. He had to take it, for his son’s sake. It hurts, but I understand I have to stay away.”

Julia sounded miserable and Ivy didn’t know how to help her feel better. She could only grab her hand for a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll get back on your feet again. And soon you’ll have so many dates, you won’t have time to babysit.”

“That will never happen. I promise to always make time for you and Marilyn.” Julia squeezed her hand back. She stood and took Ivy’s empty plate. “Let me get that.”

“Oh no. It’s my place. I’ll clean up.” Ivy tried to grab the plate from Julia.

But the other woman held on tight, shaking her head. “You sit down. I’ve got it covered.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.” Ivy tugged on the plate again but Julia still wouldn’t let go. “Come on. I am perfectly capable of washing my own dishes!”

Wails echoed through the apartment. Ivy released the plate with a sigh. She pointed at Julia, narrowing her eyes. “You lucked out, this time.”

Julia smiled in triumph as Ivy went to tend to her crying daughter. Marilyn kicked at her blanket in displeasure. Ivy had to smile at the sight. She knew one day her daughter’s tantrums wouldn’t be so cute, but for now, she loved them.

Scooping up her daughter, Ivy began bouncing her. Marilyn’s cries calmed a bit. “There you go. You just wanted a little attention, didn’t you?”

Marilyn hiccupped, face still wet but eyes focused on her mother’s face. Ivy wondered what her little daughter was thinking. “Oh, to be able to read your mind. It would be quite interesting. And helpful.”

The baby scrunched up her eyes again and let out a wail. Ivy sighed. “I’m pretty sure I know what that means. Someone’s hungry.”

She decided to nurse out in her living room. Since Marilyn had come home, she had opted for the privacy of her bedroom. But she felt comfortable around Julia. And she didn’t think her friend would mind. Grabbing a blanket, she went to settle on her couch.

“You need anything?” Julia asked from the kitchen.

Ivy shook her head. “I’m fine. Thanks, anyway.”

“Okay. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

“You don’t have to stay. I’m fine, honest. This mommy thing is getting easier with each passing day. Of course, that might be the sleep deprivation talking. But I’m pretty confident I can handle this.”

Julia waved her off. “I’m happy to do it. I like taking care of people.”

Ivy didn’t fight her. Instead, her mind began forming a plan. Julia deserved to have someone take care of her, if only for a weekend. And Ivy wanted to thank her for all her help. She knew just the person to ask…

*****

“Eileen, when I said I wanted to talk, I meant on the phone. You didn’t have to come.” But Ivy stood aside to let the older woman into her apartment.

“Nonsense. Besides, I want to see the baby.” Eileen smiled as she shrugged off the cape she wore against the December chill. “Where is she?”

Ivy closed the door. “Sleeping. But if you’re quiet enough, you can check on her.”

“Thank you.” Eileen slipped off her shoes before treading down the hallway. Ivy padded behind her.

Eileen leaned over the bassinet, watching Marilyn sleep. “She’s gorgeous,” she whispered. “Just like her mother.”

Ivy blushed. She hoped it would stop soon and she’d be able to accept the compliment. “Thank you. But there’s a lot of Derek in her as well.”

“Of course. And I’m sure it’s the good parts.” Eileen winked. She looked at the baby one more time than indicated she wanted to leave.

Ivy led her back to the living room. “Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee? A Manhattan?”

“Tea is fine. Jerry’s not around so why let a Manhattan go to waste?” Eileen smiled as she winked.

Laughing, Ivy started to boil the water for tea. “Thank you for coming over. I really appreciate all the company I get.”

“I imagine. I remember when I had Katie. There were days I thought I was going to go nuts sitting at home with just her.”

“You didn’t have a nanny?” Ivy poured water into two mugs as she let the tea start to seep.

Eileen sighed. “Not at first. I thought I would enjoy being a stay at home mother. But I realized I missed the theater and wanted to go back to work. So I let Jerry hire a nanny. She was quite helpful and good with Katie. And then I found her in his bed.”

She paused and Ivy didn’t blame her. No matter how many times it happened, she knew it had to hurt to find her husband in bed with someone else. It had hurt when she found Derek with Rebecca. Just has it had to hurt Karen when she revealed she had slept with Dev.

Ivy pushed down her guilt as she sat next to Eileen. She handed her a cup. “How did you feel?”

“Hurt. Though I don’t by who—my husband for cheating or the nanny because she was so good.” Eileen sighed before taking a sip. “So I had to do a lot of thinking.”

“What did you decide?”

“To have it all, my way. So I hired a nanny I had vetted and was certain Jerry would never seduce. An older woman, she was sensible and very good with Katie. Then I set up an office in my house, working out of there until Katie went to school. But I still only went back to the office part time until she got even older.”

“Sounds like good compromise. How did Jerry take it?”

“He had no choice.” Eileen stated it with as much force as Ivy believed she said it to her husband all those years ago. “But I think he came around to see it was for the best.”

Ivy nodded. “I’m going to have to make that decision somewhere down the line. I want to go back to work. But with Derek so busy…I don’t know.”

“Don’t worry. Your mother managed, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, but she had my dad. I have no one.” Ivy sighed.

Eileen squeezed her hand. “You have people. And we will help you. I promise.”

“Thank you. And now I’m going to cry.” Ivy fanned her face. “I thought my hormones would’ve stabilized by now.”

“Don’t worry. It’s perfectly normal. I cried for about three months after Katie was born.”

Ivy raised an eyebrow. “You? It is a bit difficult to imagine you having trouble keeping your hormones in check.”

“Well, there are some things even I can’t control. And yes, it annoys me sometimes too.” Eileen chuckled. “But that isn’t why you called to talk to me, is it?”

“No, though the commiseration has certainly been appreciated. Thank you. But I wanted to ask a favor.”

“Go ahead.”

“Julia’s been a big help since Marilyn was born. I want to thank her.”

Eileen nodded. “Of course. But how can I help?”

“I think she is due some pampering. And you know all the best spas.”

“Yes, I do.” Eileen pulled out her phone. “Which one is perfect for Julia? Hmm…”

Ivy smiled. “You don’t have to tell me today. Just let me know which one you pick and how much I owe you.”

“Nonsense. I am not going to let a new mother who has to buy diapers pay as much as these spas charge.”

“Eileen…” Ivy didn’t want to sound like she was whining. “Thank you. But this is supposed to be a gift from me. I should pay for it.”

Eileen sighed. “We’ll work it out later. How’s that?”

Ivy tried to answer, but cries cut her off. “Saved by the baby.”

“May I? It’s been quite some time since I last held one.” Eileen’s eyes lit up and Ivy had to agree.

With Eileen tending to the baby, Ivy busied herself by cleaning up. She brought the empty cups to the sink as a knock came to her door. Not stopping to wipe her hands, she pulled the door open.

Derek stood on the other side, leaning against the doorway. “Hello, love. I’m back.”


	5. Goodbye for Now

### Chapter Five: Goodbye for Now

It felt right to have Derek back in her life, in her apartment. He insisted since she refused to go to his as Ivy didn’t want to confuse Marilyn just yet. She wanted her daughter to get used to their home first. Ivy also didn’t want to expose Marilyn to the cold weather just yet either. She had turned into one of those paranoid new mothers she used to mock with Sam and Jessica.

Derek was accommodating, though. And he didn’t tease her for her fears. He understood them for he had his own.

“Ivy! Ivy, I think something is wrong.” Derek emerged from her bedroom, rocking Marilyn in his arms. His eyes were wide and face pale.

She crossed the room in a few strides to look at their daughter. Marilyn hiccupped and she chuckled. “It’s gas, Derek. She needs to be burped.”

“Oh. Right.” Derek lifted Marilyn to his shoulder and began patting her back. He paced the apartment, waiting for her to burp. Ivy watched, entranced by the scene.

At last, Marilyn burped and settled her head down on her father’s shoulder. Her eyes closed and her breathing evened out. But Derek continued to rock her, humming softly. Ivy pulled out her phone to take a picture, wanting to keep the memory forever.

“You want me to take her?” she asked.

Derek shook his head. “I’ll put her down in a few minutes. You wanted to talk, right?”

“Yes. Right.” Ivy nodded. “Now’s good.”

He smiled and disappeared around the corner. Ivy grasped the counter to keep from collapsing to the floor. She knew she wanted to have this talk but as the days went on, she convinced herself she was being irrational. And now she feared what Derek would think when she told him what she had been worried about.

“Ivy? Is something wrong?” Derek stood in front of her again, frowning.

She shook her head. “Just thinking. Maybe we should sit, though.”

Derek took her arm and they walked over to the couch. Once they were settled, Ivy took a deep breath. “So…Karen’s in the movie, huh?”

“Yes, she is.” He remained somber. “I know it’s not ideal. And I did fight against her casting. But the producers really liked her. And they knew I worked with her before. To great success at that. I couldn’t argue their point.”

“Of course not. It does make sense.” Ivy stared at her hands. “Is this where you ask me to trust you?”

Derek’s hand covered hers. “No. Because I can’t even trust myself.”

Ivy glanced up to meet his eyes. He was being sincere. “You don’t trust yourself?” she asked.

“Not around Karen. She’s my kryptonite.”

Her breath caught in her throat, Ivy didn’t know how to respond. “What…What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I am going to do everything in my power to remain faithful to you. I promise.” He kissed the back of her hand.

Ivy believed him but it did little to allay her fears. Fears she didn’t want to dwell on now. Not so close to their daughter’s first Christmas.

She stood. “I’m going to make dinner. You in the mood for anything?”

“No. Whatever you feel like making is fine.” Derek leaned back. “Ivy, are we going to discuss…?”

“Not now. Let’s just enjoy the holiday, okay? Enjoy the time we have?” Ivy pleaded with him with her eyes.

He sighed. “Okay. I’ll set the table.”

 

Christmas was fast approaching. “You know what that means!” Tom said it in a sing-song manner when he stopped by for a visit. These were becoming a habit with him and Julia.

Ivy sat down next to him, sighing. “Your annual holiday party?”

“Bingo!” Tom clapped his hands. “You’re coming right? With Marilyn?”

She smiled. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Wonderful! I can’t wait! Everybody is invited and this will be my best party ever.” Tom’s exuberance had him bouncing on her couch.

“Woah there.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Define ‘everybody’ please.”

“Everybody who matters to me. And Derek.”

“That sounds more reasonable.” Ivy wrinkled her nose in amusement. “This is going to be a lot of fun. Even though I’ll be sober.”

The two laughed as Derek ambled into the kitchen, rocking Marilyn. “What is going to be fun?”

“Tom’s Christmas party. Which I hope includes carols.” She gave her friend a pointed look.

He nodded. “What kind of Christmas party doesn’t have carols? Everyone will get a chance to sing. Even you, Derek.”

Derek gave Tom his own pointed look. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh, come on! We could do a duet together. ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside?’ anyone?” She glanced between the two men. Derek’s eyes were narrowed while Tom shook his head. Ivy pouted. “What? Why not?”

“Because I’ve finally convinced Julia to sing it with me. You and Derek will have to do another song.”

“No,” Derek said.

Derek nudged Ivy. “But you should still sing something. It’ll be a real treat for everybody.”

Ivy shrugged. “I’ll think of something.”

“Good. Well, I have to get started gathering supplies for the party. See you soon.” Tom picked up his coat. He kissed her cheek and left the apartment.

She turned to Derek. “Why don’t you want to sing with me?”

“I do.” He sighed, shifting Marilyn in his arms. “Let me put her down and we’ll talk.”

“Talk? About what?” She followed him. “Derek?”

He glanced over his shoulder. “Once I put her down. Go sit down on the couch. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Ivy watched him disappear into her room before trudging to her couch. She wasn’t able to form complete thoughts. What was going on? Why was he being so secretive? If she didn’t know any better, he was acting like he wasn’t…No, that wasn’t it. It couldn’t be.

By the time Derek came back out, she was sitting with her arms crossed. If looks could kill, she knew he’d be dead. “You’re not going to be here for Christmas, are you?”

“I will be here for Christmas. Even if I have to hijack Santa’s sleigh.”

“But…?”

He sighed. “But I do have to go back to LA for a few days, meaning I’ll miss Tom’s party.”

“What? When were you going to tell me?” Ivy wanted to hit something. Like him. Mostly him. “When did you find out?”

“This morning. I was coming to tell you when Tom arrived. I didn’t want to discuss it in front of him.”

Ivy looked down, playing with a loose thread on her sock. “When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

“I see.” Her apartment was shrinking. The air was running out. She needed to leave. Just until she could catch her breath. “I need to go. Just…uh…for a little bit. I’ll…uh…go.”

She stood and left Derek sitting there. He didn’t try to stop her.

 

Ivy didn’t have a destination. She just walked. Whenever she reached a red light, she made a right. If it was green, she kept walking straight. The cold wind nipped at her but she just wrapped her arms closer to her body. Nothing would stop her until rational thought returned to her mind.

Derek.

Derek. Leaving.

Derek. Leaving. Christmas.

Derek. Leaving. Christmas. Marilyn.

Derek. Leaving. Christmas.

Derek. Leaving.

Alone.

Derek told her he’d make it back by Christmas. But she doubted it. Something would come up. Something always did. This was going to be her life. It was going to be Marilyn’s life. A series of broken promises and missed moments. Was that what she wanted for herself and her daughter?

The fog filling her mind lifted at last and she took in her surroundings. Brownstones surrounded her, lit up by different strands of Christmas lights. Some were multicolored, others white. There were Santas and snowmen, stars and snowflakes. Two windows had menorahs, though Hanukah was over. Light snow dusted the stoops. Altogether, it was a quaint scene.

Too bad she didn’t know where she was.

And she didn’t have a phone. She had been too upset to remember to take it. Ivy shoved her hands into her coat pockets, trying to figure out what to do next. Her right hand closed over a few quarters. If she found an operational payphone, she could call for help. Or at least ask Derek to meet her with money for a cab, if she needed to do that.

She started walking down the street, keeping her head down so she didn’t look lost. It wasn’t safe, even in such a posh neighborhood. She passed a man walking his dog and did not make eye contact. He didn’t seem to notice her. Even better.

Ivy reached a corner. No payphone, but there were street signs. Perhaps she could figure out where she was and then how to get back to her apartment. With a deep breath, she glanced up at the street sign. Her eyes widened. She was nearly twenty blocks from her apartment. She knew how to get back but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to walk back that distance.

There was a subway station two blocks over. She didn’t have enough for a Metrocard but there was a chance there was a pay phone there. With a sigh, she began walking toward the subway.

An ancient graffiti-covered payphone was still located in the station and she was relieved to learn it was operational. She prepared to dial but hesitated for a moment. Her fingers hit the numbers and the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Tom? It’s Ivy.”

“Ivy.” Relief was evident in his voice. “Where are you? Derek is going nuts!”

“I needed to go for a walk and ended up several blocks from my place. And I can’t call Derek. Not now. So, can you send a car for me? I’ll pay you back, promise.”

“You don’t have to pay me back. Is there some place warm that isn’t the subway station that you can wait?”

Ivy sighed in relief. “I saw a music store. I can browse while waiting.”

“Good. I’ll be there soon.”

“What? Tom, you don’t have to come get me.”

The line was already dead.

Ivy sighed again, hanging the phone back on the hook. She heard the coin clinked down inside the machine. Hugging herself, she climbed back up to the street above to wait for Tom.

 

A bell jingled as she opened the door to the music shop. The warmth bit at her frozen cheeks but she felt better to be out of the December cold. Guitars of all shapes and sizes lined one wall, prices marked next to each. Underneath them was an assortment of sheet music and books.

She wandered over to the section marked “musical theater” and browsed their selections. Though supposed to be in alphabetical order, somehow _Bombshell_ had ended up next to _Hit List._ It was not lost on her.

“OMG! I don’t believe it!” A high-pitched sequel interrupted her musings and Ivy turned to find the source.

A preteen girl bounded toward her, blonde braids bouncing. She smiled, revealing braces on her teeth. “You’re Ivy Lynn! I love you!”

“Thank you.” Ivy smiled. “And you are?”

“My name is Megan and no one is going to believe me when I tell them that I met an actual Tony Award winner.”

“Do you have your phone? I’d be happy to pose for a picture.”

Megan shrieked again as she pulled out her phone. “OMG. OMG. I am taking a picture with Ivy Lynn! I love you. I begged my parents to take me to see Bombshell before you left. Oh, congrats on your daughter! I’m sure she’s adorable.”

“She is. Now, shall we?” Ivy put her arm around Megan and smiled.

Megan took the picture. “This is amazing. It totally makes up for my parents not letting me stage door when I saw Bombshell. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome. I can’t wait to see you on Broadway one day.” Megan ran off, no doubt already sharing her picture with everyone she knew.

Clapping caught Ivy’s attention. She turned to see Tom standing in the door, smiling. “Looks like someone has a fan.”

“She’s a sweetheart. I can see Marilyn being like that when she’s that age.” She hugged Tom. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course. I have a car waiting outside.” He wrapped her in a blanket and led her to the car. “You’re hardly dressed for this weather.”

“I have a jacket on.”

“But no hat or scarves or gloves. You must be nearly frozen!”

“I’m fine. Stop worrying.”

Tom shrugged as we drove off. “Okay. Then let’s talk about Derek. What did he do now?”

Ivy sighed. “He has to go back to California.”

“But Christmas is almost here.”

“Yeah. He says he’ll be back by Christmas but…”

“You’re not holding your breath.” Tom sighed, leaning back against the seat. “So, what now?”

Ivy closed her eyes. “I know the answer. It’s just not an easy one.”

“Some of the most serious decisions we make aren’t.”

“I know.”

Tom scooted closer. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not yet. I probably will after the conversation with Derek.”

The car pulled up in front of Ivy’s apartment. She sighed as she took it in. “Wish me luck.”

 

Derek was pacing when she opened the door to her apartment. “Where were you? Do you know how long you’ve been gone?” When Ivy shrugged in response, he grew more irate. “Two hours, Ivy! Do you know how worried I was? What were you doing?”

“Thinking.”

“For two hours in the cold?” Ivy nodded and Derek grew more irate. “About what?”

“Us.”

Derek stopped pacing. “What about us?”

“Why don’t we sit down?” Ivy shrugged off her coat, trying not to make eye contact. She couldn’t, not yet, or else she would lose her resolve.

“Ivy? What’s wrong?” Derek still sounded panicked.

She sighed. “Just…sit. Please?”

He huffed and did what she asked. Ivy followed at a slower pace, dread building inside her. She knew it was the right thing to do but she still felt horrible.

They sat on the couch and Derek crossed his arms. “Well?” he asked.

“I love you, Derek.”

“I love you too.” He squeezed her hand. “Is that what you needed to think about?”

She shook her head. “No. I was thinking about our future.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“Please don’t interrupt. I need to say this.” She took a deep breath. “We need to be fair to ourselves. To Marilyn. And I don’t think right now, being a relationship is doing that.”

Derek’s brows furrowed. “Are…Are you breaking up with me?”

“I guess so. Yes.”

“Why?”

“I’m getting to that. Please, let me finish.” He nodded and she took another deep breath. “As I said, I love you. And I want you to be happy and successful.”

Derek looked like he was going to say something, so she held her hand up. “You need to be able to focus on this movie and not worry about breaking promises to me and Marilyn. And I can’t be stuck in limbo here, scared that any minute could bring word that you’ve found someone else. It’s better if we just stay friends and parent Marilyn together. We don’t need lawyers. I think we can work this out on our own. Do you agree?”

“Agree? Agree with what, exactly?” Derek’s voice was rising. “Agree with you deciding to end our relationship without discussing it with me? Of course not!”

He stood, resuming his pacing. “Ivy, this isn’t fair. I’m fully committed to this relationship. How can you think otherwise?”

“I don’t.”

“Really? Because this conversation doesn’t seem to support that.” Derek ran a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. It added to his exasperated look.

Ivy stood as well. “I know this seems contradictory. But it’s for the best. When you calm down, I think you’ll see it as well.”

“You do,” Derek sneered. “How peachy for you.”

“You should go home.”

“So you’re throwing me out now?”

“Not in that way. I think you need to be alone now. To think things over.” Ivy started to walk over to the closet to fetch his coat.

Derek grabbed her arm. “I am not leaving. This is my last night in New York and I want to spend it with my daughter.”

“She’s going to sleep for most of it. And when she’s not sleeping, she’ll be eating. You really can’t help with that.”

“You pump. I know that. I can feed her.” Derek crossed his arms.

Ivy sighed. A wise person once said to pick your battles carefully. She wasn’t going to pick this one. “Fine. But you’re sleeping on the couch. No arguments.”

He nodded, sitting back down on the couch as if staking his claim. She sighed, going to get him some blankets and a pillow. It was going to be a long night.

 

She was right. It was a long, awkward night. And a sleepless one. She couldn’t rest knowing Derek was on her couch. Tension hung in the air and it even seemed to affect Marilyn. She was fussy through the night with what appeared to be no cause. Ivy walked with her, pacing her room as she bounced the girl. She sang to her but even that couldn’t comfort her.

“Here. Let me take her.” Derek appeared in the doorway, holding his arms out. “You need some rest.”

“What about you?”

“I can sleep on the plane. Don’t worry.”

Ivy placed Marilyn into her father’s arms. “Good luck.”

He held the baby close, bouncing her as he walked back to the living room. Ivy watched until he disappeared around a corner and then laid down on her bed. She fell asleep before she could even cover herself with the blankets.

She awoke a few hours later, feeling only a little rested. But she knew Marilyn was going to be hungry soon. Sitting up, Ivy hoped to get a quick shower in.

Cries ended that hope. Pulling on her robe, Ivy hurried down the hall to the living room. Derek paced it, bouncing the little girl. His weary eyes met Ivy’s. Marilyn was not mollified this time.

“Here, let me.” Ivy held out her arms for the baby. Derek hesitated and she sighed. “She’s hungry. I’m equipped to handle that.”

Derek looked ready to argue but he handed the baby over to Ivy. He rubbed his face. “I think I’m going to lay down for a bit. Wake me if you need any help.”

“Go use my bed. It’ll be more comfortable.”

He nodded in thanks before wandering down the hall. Ivy sat down on the couch and put Marilyn to her breast. The baby began suckling and Ivy closed her eyes. She was learning to get some rest whenever she could, just like Julia had advised. Everything seemed calm now. Almost peaceful. Inspired, she began humming “Silent Night.”

Once Marilyn was fed, she fell asleep against her mother’s shoulder. Ivy waited a bit before standing to put Marilyn in her crib. She remained asleep the entire time. Ivy breathed out in relief, praying for at least a couple hours. Gathering some clean clothes, she slipped into her bathroom for her shower.

When she got out, Marilyn was still asleep but Derek no longer was in bed. She frowned and went to find him. As she walked down the hallway, the smell of coffee met her. It did more to wake her up than the shower.

Derek sat at her kitchen table, staring at his steaming mug. He didn’t seem to notice as she entered and poured her own mug. Nor when she sat down across from him. She stared at him, waiting for something.

“This is exhausting. How do people do this whole parenting thing more than once?” Derek shook his head. “I don’t think I could.”

Ivy shrugged. “Well, I’m not planning on having another one anytime soon either. So you’re off the hook there.”

Derek smiled. “So, you’d have another child with me?”

“Maybe? Yes? I don’t know.” Ivy let out a wry laugh. “I haven’t had enough sleep to think rationally.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Derek raised his mug before taking a sip.

Ivy sighed. “You do realize this doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind, right?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I still love you. I won’t deny that. But I’ve told you…Wait, what did you say?” Her brain had finally caught up with her ears.

Derek sighed now. “I had a lot of time to think, Ivy. And I realized you were right. It’s not fair to you to have a boyfriend who keeps blowing in and out of your life. So, yes, I do think we need to have a break.”

“Thank you for understanding. And I’m not keeping Marilyn from you. I want you to be part of her life.”

“I know. You made that clear. I can’t promise to give you a lot of notice when I’m in town—you know how predictable my schedule is.”

Ivy nodded. “How about you try to give me at least a two hour notice?”

“That sounds reasonable.” Derek leaned forward. “Well, I think you’re right. We don’t need lawyers. So, what else do we need to work out?”

“How about I start some breakfast and we’ll continue discussing this?”

Ivy busied herself preparing some breakfast for them while Derek excused himself to check on Marilyn before grabbing a quick shower. The tension that had filled the apartment lessen and Ivy felt herself feel the joy of the season. Perhaps Christmas was saved after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I have not abandoned this fic. I'm sorry it's been so long, but I got a bit burnt out and turned to more original stories. But I've gotten the spark back, so expect more.


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